An Educated View on Ultimate Culture

Likes (not in order)

1. Spirit of the game – This is really on and off the field. The humility it takes to make/agree calls, the respect people have for the rules, and the passion displayed with ultimate is unbeatable in this sport. This is why I love this game.
2. That one guy who plays in business clothes every now and then – Every now and then, someone gets off work and doesn’t have time to change or doesn’t have spare clothes. This happened two years ago during AFDC. It was awesome.
3. Making Rookies do funny things- Self Explanatory. You can comment about funny rookie stories.
4. Ultimate Tattoos – The guy on Arizona has one. He’s serious about ultimate. He wanted people to know that.
5. Cigarette Points – I heard at College Easterns this year, Wake Forest went up against a team that had an all smoking point. They were not smoking pot, just cigarettes. Everyone on the Mary Washington team was playing with a lit cigarette in their mouth. I want to repeat that sentence. Everyone on the Mary Washington team was playing with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

Dislikes (In order)

1. Mixed Teams (and the guys that actually enjoy playing with girls) – Nothing against girls, but there is no way playing with girls is as competitive as playing with guys. I love women; I just do not like to play competitive ultimate with them. Why do guys play Mixed Teams? They obviously haven’t mastered regular ultimate frisbee with other guys. Here are my theories about guys who play Mixed Teams: 1. They are married and they want their spouse to play. 2. They are single and play better with women around because they are trying to impress them. 3. They are mentally weak and will become middle school PE teachers. I could go on all day about this...
   
2. People that yell SCOOBER, HAMMER, THUMBER, or CORKER during an all star game – Just because you have vocal cords does not mean you should use them. Who wants to see a cool throw in an all star game? Is a cool throw exciting? For me, I want the 50-50 throws, the hospital passes, and the layout D’s. Throw your corker on the sideline and enjoy the display of athleticism.
3. Stupid team uniforms (plaid/Hawaiian shirts aren’t funny, neither are jean shorts) – Nothing original about this one guys. If you want to go with stupid team uniforms, please be creative. I haven’t seen a firefighters team, or a Baywatch team, or even a dress like a slutty mom team. There are creative uniform ideas out there, if you can’t find one, have everyone on the team Google Image their name and dress like the first thing that shows up.
4. Roshambo during time outs (rock papers scissors) – I have never understood this. My rookie year, our team called a time out and everyone ran out onto the field excited. Why? To play rock papers scissors. There is nothing more embarrassing than inviting your family to come watch you play a sport you have been practicing for the entire semester and then to have them all run out onto the field and play rock papers scissors. I know its fun, but it looks so stupid. Also, there is ALWAYS that one guys who runs out and starts it before everyone else. That guy sucks.
5. Team hair cuts – Mohawks, numbers in the hair, all skin heads – I’m looking at Michigan at Centex and Florida at Sectionals. Team hair cuts are weird. Let your teammates get excited and pumped before tournaments the way they want to, not the way the captain wants to.
6. The guys team + 1 girl – Self Explanatory. Who guards the girl? You get booed if you D her and you get laughed at if you let her score. There's no where to go but downhill.
   
7. People with multicolor hair – The guy from Dartmouth at Terminus scared me. While he was warming up around our field, I felt like he was a dirty hobo/clown/rusty robot. That is the only way to describe him. That should never happen again.
8. The shaved head look for girls – What is the point? I am not used to this yet. I hope this does not become a trend. Please don’t shave your head. You look like a chubby adolescent boy. Please keep this in mind, I can still like the girl, just not her silly look.
   
9. People who confuse heckling with screaming HAMMER – Never funny yet always heard. You aren't actually teasing anyone when you say Hammer, unless that person doesn't have arms.
10. Beer on Sidelines/Beer Points - I'm ambivalent towards this. It depends on the person. If Nick Brown does it, I hate it. If Chad Borer does it, I love it. Sorry Nick, your funnier when you are sober. The Beer Points during shitty ultimate tournaments are lame as hell. Drinking beer while playing ultimate hurts. There is nothing enjoyable about it. Playing Hung over is funnier than drinking and playing ultimate, HANDS DOWN.
    
11. Bad Nicknames - Colorado has a guy on their team named Pebbles. Georgia Tech's coach is named Frito. Wisconsin has Muffin.

I really do love everyone equally.